Waterloo! – Iowa fan of the songs and lore
The Eurovision Song Contest is not for uptight folks
It was the Eurovision Song Contest final on Saturday, the 17th of May, and my husband and I were watching. I’ve been watching the Eurovision Song Contest off-and-on for the last 20 years. It’s ubiquitous in the UK and explodes all over social media. My sort of circles are the ones that tend to attract the sort of camp, weird, and over-the-top sort of enthusiast, and these are all adjectives describing the quintessential Eurovision Song Contest fan. As always, there was much musicality, choreography, and spectacle.
I have often said I that I realized how Anglicised (or Hibernicized) I was about 26 years ago, when I was watching Father Ted, and I read the episode title: “A Song for Ireland.” I said aloud, “I bet that’s about Eurovision.” Was I ever correct: Father Ted and Eurovision are so ingrained into Irish culture that an animated horse’s head representing the fake song entry from the show, titled “My Lovely Horse,” is the small avatar for the Ireland Subreddit forum. “My Lovely Horse” is only funny as the inane subject matter and child-like tune that it is, because it is so very close to what could genuinely be a Eurovision song entry! And speaking of Ireland’s own: for years, it was hosted in the UK by the talk show host, the late, great Irishman, Sir Terry Wogan. When he passed away, “hosting” duties were taken over by his fellow countryman, Graham Norton. I use the quote marks because the show is always hosted by a local team in the host nation, and Norton provides voiceovers at appropriate moments. Norton still honors his memory by instructing the viewers to toast him between song entries 8 and 9.
Just in case you’re not familiar with it, I thought I’d give a primer on Eurovision. The term “Eurovision” itself is a little bit confusing, because the term on its own refers to a telecommunications network run by the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) – but almost everyone uses the word as shorthand for the Song Contest. Its origins trace back to just after the Second World War, as a light-hearted diplomatic exercise between countries, after so much heartache and atrocity for Europe. Each country enters an original song and an act to sing it. You have it to thank for ABBA, as it all started for them winning the 1974 contest (held in Brighton, UK, no less) with “Waterloo” (and a “sorry-not-sorry” for the not-reference to the city in Iowa, as this post’s title). Next year (2026) will be its 70th year. The judging and voting methods have changed just as often as the number of and countries participating (even Australia – go fig!). After loads of qualifying rounds, the act and country that wins is judged by teams of music professionals in each participating nation, then a public, live vote. Each nation has a representative giving their public vote points total, live on TV, from their own country. The two sets of points are combined to determine the winner. And as we’re often reminded when watching the coverage: “You cannot vote for your own country.”
What kind of music and songs can you expect to hear? I have discovered that the style and type of song tend to fall into one of a few categories (and often straddle more than one):
European Nightclub Song:
drum & bass beats, electronica and synthesizers - often at high beats per minute
Pop Style of the Day Song:
sounds like whatever is in the Hit Parade at the time
Hymns and Arias:
highly talented and trained classical singers perform a very big-sounding opus
Folk Song:
uses styles and instruments unique to their own country; often tells a story
Unplugged Song:
the barest bones of a piano or a guitar, and an earnest singer
Wannabee James Bond Film Theme Song:
big sweeping epic songs, often with a full orchestra, but certainly with prominent strings
I wasn’t a big fan of the UK entry this year, called “What the Hell Just Happened?” In my not-so-humble opinion, it was a very odd Taylor Swift-clone pop-song. It didn’t do too badly with the music professionals’ votes, but it got no points from the public votes at all - almost completely unheard of. Bizarrely, it was also nil points for the host country: Switzerland. The UK finished in 19th place, out of 37 entries. This is a massive contrast from a mere three years ago, at the 2022 Contest. The UK came in second place that year. Ukraine won instead in 2022, largely due to Europe-wide solidarity after Russia’s invasion of the country. (And I don’t think any Eurovision fan begrudged them that.) Usually, the winner country hosts the contest the following year, but after only a little bit of debate it was decided that Ukraine could not host the contest (obvs.), so the second-place winner hosted instead. British cities bid to host, and Liverpool eventually won as the host city for the 2023 contest. This made my spouse very happy, because Frankie Goes to Hollywood (his favorite) reformed for the special occasion.
If you’re interested in a fairly decent giggle and aren’t familiar with Eurovision, I can recommend the Will Ferrell movie, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. It’s a 2020 fiction feature co-written by Iowa’s own Harper Steele. It’s a tongue-in-cheek musical film, and I’d say, accurate, because to be quite honest: it’s very hard to parody a phenomenon and tradition that is so wild to start with. Knowing anything at all about Eurovision before watching only makes the movie more entertaining, and several acts from over the years make cameos in it.
But … back to this year’s contest. After a nail-biting, literally down-to-the-very-last-wire vote reveal on Saturday, Austria’s entry beat Israel’s entry. The artist is called JJ, and the song is called “Wasted Love.” Usually, if you’ve done your watching right, your smartphone battery is too drained by the bantz on Twitter and you’re a little too tipsy to care a great deal who won by the end. Pshaaaw… I kid, of course! … I abandoned X/Twitter for BlueSky ages ago. :-P
You gotta give the Contest credit: it does try to maintain what it intended at the start, and it does its best to keep politics out - a little bit like the Olympics. It’s a way for different nations to come together and celebrate togetherness through music. This time out, I sussed the quality of the victor pretty-danged well: when I watched the Austria entry, I skeeted: “This [song] is so Bond-esque, then straight into dance-club-pop … so damned Eurovision that it hurts.” But my favorite 2025 song was the Estonia entry: “Espresso Macchiato” – and definitely not because of the obviously staged, stage-invasion! Still, every once in a great while, a performance gimmick like that one works. Finland won in 2006 with heavy-metal taken to the extreme: it was a band dressed in KISS-like platform boots and Slipknot-like scary masks, and (very appropriately) an overall Spinal Tap-esque nod to Viking lore. The act was Lordi, and the song was called “Hard Rock Hallelujah.” And the UK won the contest in 1981 with Buck’s Fizz (named after that drink known as a mimosa, in American). They were the victors after their infamous “skirt-pull” stunt. The song was called “Making Your Mind Up.” Well … what else are we all doing watching the Contest, anyway?
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